Saturday, 26 May 2012

The "Mr Right" Dilemma

Apparently, as the old saying goes, there is a perfect match for everyone in this world (or something along those lines...)...you just have to battle your way through the hoards of crap, competiton and shite to get to them. So, what happens if by chance, you happen to stumble upon this person without necessarily knowing it? Now, I know what you are thinking...this would be the perfect situation, right? I mean, there is the person you have been waiting for, they tick all the things in your imaginary list, they are practically perfect for you...but then something will always stop you. Whether it's the Japanese girl fantasy/problem that all your male companions seem to suffer from or the fact that you are from just two different worlds (and no, I do not mean the whole Venus/Mars thing). For some reason or another, Mr Right isn't the Mr Right for me, as much as I thought he would be.
Ok, I am no relationship/guy specialist but I will show you how I got to this point...
I, like many girls, am and was brought up in a Christian home. This mean rules, rules, rules...rules and more rules. Most of them seemed on making sure that I didn't have a love life until I was at least 30 (thanks Dad!). I was made to go to all-girl schools, and basically the only thing I got to know about guys was from stupid teen magazines, tv shows and Disney...yeah...all because male friends were non-exsistent in my life. When I was 18, I did the debateable good thing of dating my best friend (who was not a girl, before you get confused...I had already been and conquered the "curious" stage). At the time, it was a secret affair as I was still in the clutches of my parents. It's actually quite funny how many Christian girls do this...they seem sweet, innocent and goody-two-shoes-like on the surface but underneath...yeahh, it's a whooollleee other story. The catholic school girl thing is there for a reason ;) The same could be said for the boys too. They tend to display a symptom I like to call "Fraustrated-Christian-itus". Do I really need to explain that?!
Since that failed (and even way before that, really), I have had a stream of crushes, hit and misses ( a lot of those!) and unrequited affairs. Just call me the ever-hopeless romantic. I always had the Mr Right ideal in my mind, getting me through the masses of failure that I seemed to encounter.
Even now, as a kind, intelligent, quirky, sweet, sophisticated 20+ girl (as I have been called ^^) I still seem to get no where. It seems an old fashioned girl like me, with all the qualities I mentioned before, plus more, isn't really "fashionable" at the moment, in the eyes of the opposite sex.
Back to this Mr Right dilemma..I always had a list of ideals that, for me, would make up the perfect guy. Every girl has hers, and I'll show you mine...
-kind, sweet, strong-willed, great sense of humour (prefereably a dark sense of humor to match my own :p), can cook, plays an instrument (preferably the piano), sociable but then can also like to stay in and just relax, cultured, well-read, intelligent, can be stupid as well as serious and has an interest in my family culture which spreads between Ghanaian culture and the Deaf community.
I never assumed that one person would hold all of these charactistics, and to be honest I now realise don't want them to. This is why all the guy I have fallen for, have had about 60 to 85% of these characteristics. I want to be surpirsed. What is the point of getting to know someone if you already have an idea of their character.
The "perfect guy" that has spawned this whole debate is one I would not have expected.
We went from being practically strangers, to him living under my nose (or techinically his...as he is taller than me XD), and I can safely say that he is everything that I look for i  a guy: kind, sensitve, funny, classy, cultured, intelligent, witty...a good cook...etc, etc! But how can I find someone, who is meant to be so perfect for me, nothing more than a slight crush? Is it because I respect him greatly? Any guy with enough wit and a great deal of intelligence can float my boat...I have many guys around me that do, and fit into these catagories. So what is the problem? The problem is when you aren't the one they need. It is a very painful thing when you realise that the person you have looked to in such a way has no acknowledgement of you other than a cheery, little friend. It has happened on so many occasions...I guess that is why I have momentarily given up for now. It also doesn't help that he's a patronising bastard who whines all the sodding time...anyway, I digress...
I still hope that I will find Mr Right, but the Mr Right that I wouldn't excpect, the one who seems to come out of know where but has been under my nose this whole time. Who accepts me for me. Despite the long list, that would be perfect guy for me. There is one person that fits this...but its too painful to get into. But alas, I guess I kinda still have hope ^.^
Well till next time...Adieu For Now!